10 Signs that your Boss is a Whinner

Foreword: For those not familiar with this style of sarcasm, "whinner" refers to someone who is a "winner" ie. not a winner, therefore simply someone who is just not going to make it.

10 Signs that your Boss is a whinner...

1. He is always right.

2. If he is ever wrong, refer to 1.

3. Asks to be publicly addressed by some random title (like Dominant, Outstanding, Certified Triplicate Owner, Respectable, etc. etc.) even though other people with the same qualifications choose not to. Claims that it makes him more dominant, more of a certified triplicate owner etc.

4. Explains that respect must come in the form of total submission. Deviants will be caned, tortured, and sold to the black market for funds for the organization.

5. Creates slogans acronymed in animals like LION, PANTHER, believing them to be a magic chant to solve all logical challenges and queries. Features each of them prominently in all speeches, dialogues, email, public message, forwarded message, forwards, features, notices, memos, pamphlets, slips, forms, speeches, dialogues etc.

6. Uses mind-reading skills to decipher the deep hidden meaning behind each question, and utilises his authority and supreme put-down lines to annihilate the hidden meaning within.

7. Admires the stamp and throws away the letter.

8. The employees keep his picture on their cubicle wall. And a pack of rubber bands at every corner.

9. Is nominated for many awards, comprising of, the Darwin Awards, the Daily WTF! Champion, Most Dilbert-like Boss, Best Flamee etc.

10. Thinks his popularity is like an eagle soaring high in the mountains amist the flowing rivers, but is in fact like a brick on steroids at the Olympic diving championship finals.

11. Says to stop pursuing a matter. But then, it's important to understand, so there will be no future incidents. This will be the first and last time that this kind of things happen. Anyone who does this in the future will be severly punished. This is very important, because this kind of incidents cannot and will not happen again. See to it that this incident does not happen again. This kind of attitude will not be taken here. If this had happened to any superiors, punishment will be especially severe.