Suddenly

i think its safe to say that dare also has a lot of memories for me. some good, some not so, but still altogether great xD

geh wenhao will know what im talking about (i think) but i dun think he even knows of this blog's existence ><
earlier years i had pretty close friendships there. what with going for camps together and doing damn guai stuff.
including:
1. joshwong smearing toothpaste over my face n gene's while we were sleeping.
2. me dousing edmund with water after that because i thought he did it.
3. benkong, joshwong n edmund capturing a cockroach in a pikin bottle and freaking out the girls.
4. going through a really difficult patch together.
5. gene n i joining sound.
6. us n joshwong celebrating the arrival of his baby sister.
6. trying to find a time to smear toothpaste on joshwong's face.

nowadays however i have less and less time to meet up with these old friends, xcept for gene (even so, just saw him today after about a month?) met joshwong the other day while queing up, and we just talked a little about old times heh ><>

crap it's really been a long long time.

then again, i still do acknowledge the importance and the relevance of this. it's kinda weird again, after standing at (almost) the same spot, (almost) all the time i go there, looking longingly to handle the mixer. of coz, new friends: jack'al (not rly new lah), justin, yuhua, jason, minijack, mj, justin n justin, bev, yuki, etc. hai all.

if im asked what i think people think of me (wah thats a lot of thinking >< ) i'd probably guess they'd say i appear as a very happy (?) easily contented guy, happy-go-lucky?, etc. guai1kia (good kid) and guai4kia (strange kid). laughs for no apparent reason sometimes. i hope i'm a good friend.

but on a deeper note, i think this outward smiling attitude can only be kept up by the realisation of no condemnation. thats what i keep telling others, because i do realise condemnation rly is the number one in sabotaging people's relationships and goals and more. and this is only acheivable through dare lor. haha xD

secret to happiness? skip that. it's an open secret, just that many dun want to / have not see it.

gives a whole new meaning to the question i've been asking: is my smiling face just a facade?

i think it is. i can smile even when things go horribly, horribly wrong, and pretend to shrug it off and smile and act okay when something hurts the team, or just me. i can mask a lot of my pains in jokes (extreme cold jokes that have acquired my own brand of humour: something no one wants to hear xD. hei i hope i have the occasional good joke can?) and heartbreaks in laughter.

no, i'm not in a bgr, if that's the question. really. ask anyone.

so yes, although im usually happy and ready, there are times where my smiling face is a facade to my real feelings.

but under all that, after all's been said and done,

i still find a Reason to smile on. =D

This is the gospel revolution
You came You gave / Your life for me
Now and forever / I am righteous by Your finished work at Calvary
[...] You'll never forsake me