10 Signs that your Computer is a Whinner

i'm not complaining that my com is in bad quality. in fact i think its good (imho).

1. It can multiply by two faster than a slow ameoba.

2. It can fetch reasonably good prices. (At a scrap sale, as scrap metal and glass of the lowest quality, after bargaining)

3. It receives email only slightly slower than snail-mail.

4. It has an extremely fast screen refresh rate. (compared to the Mona Lisa)

5. It once spontanteously upgraded its RAM, tripling it to 42B.

6. It has a supreme security system, rendering it incapable of running any malignant program, or receiving any viruses or spam through email. In fact, the security system is so tight it is prohibited from running any program more complex then *monitor switches on* and any attachments and emails longer than 2 characters are automatically deleted from the system.

7. It has defeated the Y2K virus singlehandedly by not using any application that is related to time.

8. It is listed under the Guinness Book of World Records. (simultaneously holding the title of Most Obselete System, Most Power Ineffecient Machine, and narrowly losing the listing for Most Unneeded Invention of the Year to the inflatable dartboard)

9. It makes cameo appearances in many movies, as part of junkyards, and has been approached to guest star in "WALL-E" as several cubes of trash.

10. It bytes off more than it can chew.