Alcohol

Recently, Mokfai lamented that there were no original submissions on MLIA, and that all of them were talking about either Harry Potter or something else, I forget. So today, instead of doing work, I went on MLIA for 20minutes.

To save you the trouble, here are some of my findings.

Today, I went to McDonalds and saw a vacuum cleaner chained to the bike rack. Never have I had so many questions. MLIA

Today, my mom called me a "son of a bitch". I laughed at the irony. She didn't get it. MLIA

Today at school I saw a filing cabinet with a drawer labeled LIVE PENGUINS: DON'T OPEN. Never have I been more curious. MLIA.

Today, I had Chinese food while wearing an 'I Heart NY' t-shirt. While eating my fortune cookie, I saw it was made in New York. I then checked the tag on my shirt to learn it was made in China. I laughed at the irony. MLIA

Today, I was feeding my cat when he tried to bite my hand. I told him "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." He bit my other hand. At least he listened to me. MLIA

Today, I looked at the tag inside my lunch box and saw that it was made in China by a company called California Innovations Inc., which is located in Toronto, Canada. I've never been so confused. MLIA.

Today, I opened my honors calculus book for the first time. It comes with a cd to study from with a giant sticker on the front. Instead of the sticker saying "OPEN ME," mine said "OBEY ME." I am mildly afraid of my calculus textbook now. MLIA

Today, I dreaded going to my eight o'clock Chemistry class. After I got there, the professor walked in, sprayed alcohol all over the desk, and lit it on fire. Needless to say, I am encouraged to show up Wednesday. MLIA