Obvious

Today's issue: Captain Obvious and the Flaming Fire Fight

Today, the world was saved, thanks to the incredible Captain Obvious!

The wooden benches burned as hot fire licked the wooden legs and the very ground was a-trembling, and all hope had seemed lost, when who should arrive?

It's a pigeon! No, it's too fat.
It's a Boeing-777! No, not that fat.

No, it's Captain Obvious!

With his obvious references to a famous superhero complete, Captain Obvious landed magnificently and stood in the middle of the aforementioned burning carnage, which was, obviously, still burning.

Captain Obvious surveyed the destruction with his obviously superior eyesight, scratching his finger on his obvious Obvious Chin-pad, which bore obvious marks of prior use.

Captain Obvious' hands moved to activate the Obvious Ray... no, the Obvious Beam ...or perhaps the Obvious Cannon? No, obviously, no such foe was here, but something still needed to be done about that fire.

Obviously.

With great deliberation and impeccable timing, Captain Obvious spoke, the air rippling around his mouth at his Obvious Talk:

"If you don't win this... you're a loser."

An unnatural silence fell across the field - to be replaced a second later by a mild cold wind. The cold wind turned to a cold blast, and the air whipped around our hero as he stood poised, heroic and obvious.

The cold wind wrapped itself around the flames, and the coldness of it all pierced into the heart of the fire. The fire seemed to jump and freeze (though that was obviously impossible), and quickly sizzled out of existence. The fire extinguished, the cold air became remarkably fresh, carrying to mind a slight smell of primrose and the sound of people's uncontrolled laughter.

His work done, Captain Obvious surveyed the blackened but obviously saved benches. His work here done, he nodded towards the group of huddling survivors, who had by now started cheering in awe.

He stood, legs apart, and uttered: "The headquarters of the African Union... are somewhere in Africa," the obvious means for his obvious power to obviously lift him from the ground from the obviousness fuelling his obvious powers. He snapped to attention, and blasted off from the ground in an obvious show of power, rocketing over the heads of onlookers, and was soon hidden from sight, obviously ('cause that's what happens in movies).

The people stood and watched his progress through the air with obvious bewilderment and a sort of awe, watching this obvious hero soar through the air to accomplish another, obvious, feat.

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CY and the other seniors really, really rock. xD This is in no means meant to insult CY and the others, but y'know, honest, fun, fun.

Obviously.

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Next time: Captain Obvious and the Psycho Psychopath of Plutocratic Power Play!