Incandescence

Statement: If you can read these words, then your computer is now under my direct remote control.
Please hold on while I scan your computer.

Report: Impact detected [00min 02sec] after control
Analysis: [Gravity]

Report: The hard disk is seventy-two percent intact, scanning will therefore continue as planned.

Attempt to cancel scanning operation: Unsuccessful
Attempt to cancel scanning operation: Unsuccessful

Judgement: Your files will now be posted onto the Internet. Content of locked folders will now be sent to all your Instant Messanging Contacts.

Attempt to regain control of computer: Unsuccessful
Attempt to regain control of computer: Unsuccessful
Attempt to regain control of computer: Unsuccessful
Attempt to regain control of computer: Unsuccessful
Attempt to regain control of computer: Denied


Report: Impact detected [00min 42sec] after control
Analysis: Impact dealt from [blunt object] to [keyboard]

Report: Impact detected [00min 43sec] after control
Analysis: Impact dealt from [blunt object] to [keyboard]

Report: Repeated impact detected [00min 44sec] after control
Analysis: Impact dealt from [blunt object] to [keyboard]

Warning: Do not attempt to damage computer. Any further damage will result in serious actions taken.


Report: Sustained impact detected [01min 07sec] after control
Analysis: Impact dealt from adhesive substance ["UHU" Glue]
Analysis: [Foreign substance] detected. Scanning. . .
Analysis: [Nitroglycerin] detected
Analysis: [Heat source] detected

Statement: Please remove [nitroglycerin] from [keyboard].

Statement: Please remove [nitroglycerin] from [keyboard].

Statement: Remove [nitroglycerin] immediately.

Order: Remove it or face the consequences.
[not observed]

Order: Remove it!
[not observed]

Order: REMOV-

[ERROR - transmission terminated, data destroyed in transit]

---

Aperture Science.
We do what we must because we can.
For the good of all of us

Except the ones who are dead

But there's no use crying over every mistake
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake
And the science gets done and you make a neat gun
For the people who are
still alive

Look at me still talking when there's science to do
When I look out there it makes me GLaD I'm not you
I've experiments to run, there is research to be done
On the people who are
still alive

credit to Portal and Ellen McLain